We are PREGNANT!!!

Today is July 28, 2014, These early post will go up after we have made our official announcement.

We did our transfer on Monday July 14, 2014.  We had one beautiful embryo to transfer.  At transfer Frosty was already hatching.  Everyone was very happy with Frosty’s quality.  Transfer was uneventful and we were in and out of the office in less then an hour.

FrostyAround Sunday July 20th I started having some early pregnancy symptoms such as frequent urination and pregnancy brain.  I blamed these symptoms on other things.  Early that week DH and I discussed taking a pregnancy test early since he would not be with me the date of our beta.  He had to work and this way we would find out together.  I caved and bought wondfo pregnancy tests and some First Response pregnancy tests.  I started POAS (peeing on a stick) on July 24th, 10 days post transfer.  The cheapie wondfo tests were great. As you can see bellow the line gets darker everyday!Pee sticks
On  Monday July 28th I went in for my first beta.  My RN called me that afternoon with the good news that our beta was very strong at 2414, 14 days post transfer.

We have been over the moon excited about baby #2 and it has been really hard to keep it under the radar.  We will see how long we last keeping this a secret.  At this point we have told a select group of friends but don’t want to tell the whole world till we have at least seen the heart beat.

Ant is very excited about being a big brother.  We actually told him about transfer and how they put a baby in my belly.  When he started asking about having a sibling is when I started to explain to him how I needed help and about his conception a little bit more.  I told him that we were going to try one more time and if it worked he would be a brother.  If it didn’t work it would be just the 3 of us.  Ant would then correct me and say, “No, the 5 of us.  You can’t forget Hammy and Athena our cats.”  So far he has been great at keeping our secret but definitely wants to share the good news with his friends.

Later today on the 28th on the way home someone rear ended me. It was minor but it stole part of my joy and replaced it with fear.  Luckily none of us were hurt seriously and Frosty seems to be doing great still.  What I am most upset about is that  my joy has been temporarily lost.  I want to find that excitement again about Frosty.  Over the next couple days I hope to recapture the joy we initially felt when we found out the news that we are going to be adding to our family.

We have some news!

10537141_10152396414613335_3487639368664271028_oI have wanted to share sooner but I have friends and family in real life that follow my blog now.  For baby #2 I wanted to make a real announcement.  Ant is so excited about being a big brother and insists that he is getting a baby sister.  We will find out in November.  More to come later.


Snowy Day

1898229_10152031740178335_815329120_n After many years of living with infertility I have learned that life is short.  It is so important to not let life pass you by.  At the end of February we traveled to Disney World for Ant’s 4th birthday and to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  It was an amazing trip and I look forward to going back soon.

While in Disney World Ant ran his first race and I ran my second half marathon.  Ant loves running as much as his mother and I see many races in his future.  The Princess Half Marathon was amazing.  I look forward to next time when I am not rehabbing.  There are many more races in my future.


This picture is from today. We got another 6+ inches of snow and Ant was helping me remove it from my care.

FET is going as planned, all we need to do is some blood work and pick a transfer date.  Transfer day will be here before I know it.

Mix of emotions

I had my mock transfer yesterday and it has created a mix of emotions.  In the last 4 years I have enjoyed my freedom from infertility (minus a melt down or two).  For the first time in a long time we were living and enjoying our lives.  In the last 10 days I have had 3 fertility appointments!  It is exciting to know that the ball is rolling and Totsicle will come home with us soon but it also brings fear, jealousy, and apprehension.

For the first time in a long time I was in tears.  I was so overwhelmed that I have almost convinced myself that if this doesn’t work then we are done.  I may waiver on this later but I have decided that fertility testing is not for me.  It is to time consuming and restricting.

Now that I am over 24hrs removed I am feeling better about everything and all this test has brought a new found appreciation of the many blessings in our lives.  I hope in the next couple days to write an update about Ant.  He is such an amazing little boy, we have been so blessed.

The no talk zone

You can tell you are at a RE appointment when it is completely quiet in the waiting room. Everyone’s eyes are on their phone or a magazine. The women’s faces are sad, exhausted and hopeful. This is the third appointment in the last month and if I didn’t want a second child. I want to run out of this office screaming.

There are so many memories of past cycles, tests, and support groups. I pray that we are lucky this time around.

On the down low

Keeping secrets has never been easy for me, I was the person who over shares. DH asked me if I could try to not tell the whole world this time around and wait a normal (whatever that is) amount of time before announce a pregnancy(I am not pregnant). To keep things on the down low it has been hard for me because I want to tell my friends and family what is going. There are minor details I haven’t told friends about plans because of our transfer plan. This is also why I have been vague about when we are doing our FET. I don’t know if I will be able to not share as we prepare because this the place where I share my fears.

We have three things to check off before we are cleared for transfer. On Sunday I did blood work and ultrasound. Everything was normal except my FSH as expected. Tomorrow Is test #2. I can’t believe this is actually happening. We haves waited a long time.

When to transfer?

The whole prospect of adding to our family is very exciting but I am finding this time around very different.  My initial thoughts were participate in my last schedule race and transfer Tosicle.  Since we are planning this time around there is a window of time I would like #2 to be born.  I figure if we have to use fertility treatments, we might as well us them to our advantage.

The first time around I gave up many things while TTC and it was a long hard 3 years.  Now that Ant is 4 I am finally starting to feel like I have regain myself.  I love being an athlete, participating in running races and triathlons.   My fear is that if this FET I could get swept up into the black hole of infertility.

I have two Triathlons planned for this summer one early summer and one late summer. My ultimate goal was to complete an Olympic distance triathlon and this is planned for early summer but I am already registered for my late summer race and I am afraid to skip it because what if the FET doesn’t work?  Will I regret it?  My DH has also requested that he be there when we find out if it worked.  If we wait till after the race he won’t be here and EDD would be later then I would prefer.

Compared to the first time around, these seem like insignificant problems but they are the ones I am stuck on.  These thoughts have been swirling for about a day now and I am starting to lean one direction but the fear holds me back.

Dear Totsicle

Dear Totsicle,
(Our frozen embryo)

This week we met with the RE about bringing you home.  At this point I am excited and scared. I am excited about the possibility of your older brother Ant having a baby sister or brother (BTW: your brother has requested a sister).

Over the last 5 years your dad and I have struggled with when the right time would be to add to our family.  If it was up to me, you would have been here already but I am glad that we have waited.  By the time you are here I will have my masters degree and your big brother will be getting ready for Kindergarten.

This is a scary time also because the RE gives us a 50% chance of you snuggling.  We want our baby #2 to be you.  Are we going to be lucky a second time? Or will we have to explore more options.  My dear Totsicle I hope and pray that you snuggle in.


Your Hopeful Future Mom



Planning for Transfer

We have known for awhile that in 2014 we would transfer our last embryo.  Part of me has been anxiously awaiting adding to our family.  In the last 6 months my life has completely changed.  In May I started training for a Sprint Triathlon with my girlfriends.  In the process of training, I remembered how much I love competing.  I have found myself again!  It has been absolutely amazing.

Now here we just over a month away from 2014 and there is a plan.  My plan for 2014 is jam packed of races and transferring our little tosicle.  Currently, I have 2 half marathons, 2 sprint triathlons, and hopefully an Olympic distance triathlon.  Of course there will be more races but these ones will happen.  After my last race the plan is to transfer our little totsicle.

With transfer being less then a year away it means it is time to make contact with my RE again.  I am not excited about having to go through IF testing again or being on any fertility meds.  The roller coaster is not the ride I want to be on.  I just rediscovered myself and I don’t want to get lost again.

I hope to find more time to blog again.  I need this outlet with our up coming transfer.

Fall time fun!

Fall time fun!